


Present, Past, and Future Tense

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/F, Post Bartlett Administration, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-07-30
Updated: 2008-07-30
Packaged: 2019-05-31 11:04:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15118022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: "There is enough insanity; there will be no lies between us."





	Present, Past, and Future Tense

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

  
Author's notes: This is for indigo_inferno's long ago prompt of sand. Better late than never, huh hon?  


* * *

The sea breeze tickled her nose and the sand under her feet made her feel alive. It had been so long since she had been to a beach, watching the ocean's waves crash, into rocks, sand, and themselves. Longer than she ever thought possible since she was close to this woman. Everything went from good to bad to worse over that decade of politics. Abbey lost so much when her husband gained the White House, her freedom, her medical license, her daughter for a short time, and nearly her mind.

Her relationship with CJ crumbled after Zoey’s kidnapping. It was slowly dying but after that, nothing was the same. When CJ replaced Leo as White House Chief of Staff, it only got worse. He wasn’t there anymore to take the brunt of Abbey's anger. The thought of taking it out on Jed, who was ill but bravely fighting it seemed horrible. She beat up CJ in both men’s place. 

She screamed, fought, bit, scratched; CJ gave it back to her too. There was enough going on and she was not going to take Abbey’s shit. She knew they were fighting each other out of helplessness but Abbey would not back off. It was so bad that they rarely spoke by the end of the Administration. Abbey didn’t even say goodbye.

She lost CJ, though it was hard to say if she ever possessed her. Sometimes it felt as if nothing was more real. Stolen moments of time, absolute bliss, so much more than carnal satisfaction. Other times Abbey felt she was seconds from waking up. It could not be real…the White House, the world, and surely not what she felt for another woman.

“Penny for your thoughts.”

CJ stopped walking, taking both of her hands and pulling Abbey into the water. It washed over their feet and ankles, ice cold on a summer afternoon. They jumped and CJ actually giggled. The sound made Abbey’s heart sing.

“I've wasted so much time; time I can never get back.” the former First Lady caressed CJ’s face. She couldn’t believe they were together. 15 years had not diminished one ounce of her radiance. It was like seeing her again for the first time.

“One can always make up for what's lost.” CJ replied. “If it’s worth it then you just do.”

“In a week? I have seven days before I return to New England and you to Santa Monica. The distance is practically immeasurable.”

“Not quite, but I understand what you're feeling. You’re thinking too hard Abbey and you don’t need to do that.”

“I know.”

“So stop it.”

“I can't. It’s been five years since we left the White House, CJ. If you wouldn’t have written, I don’t know if I ever would have. I just…I should've told you…”

This wasn’t the first time they were together. They saw each other at the opening of the Bartlet Library but conversation was superficial and short. CJ was comfortable with her husband and former Bartlet staffers. It was strange; Abbey watched them form an almost invisible semi-circle around the one man whose absence was obvious. She tried to get a few moments alone, even just one moment, but it didn’t happen. Abbey was sure that would be her last chance. It was over, better to leave it behind.

“You wanna know the best part about the past?” CJ asked. “Its over. The scars heal and the memories can no longer hurt you. You only need to look forward; the future is calling you. Hell, it’s perfect exactly where we are. You’re even more beautiful than any memory my mind could ever conjure.”

“When did you get so Zen, Mrs. Concannon? Is that a California thing?”

“Shut up.” She nudged Abbey’s shoulder. “You are not going to ruin my good mood. I can spank you into shape if I have to…remember how much fun that used to be?”

A smile spread across Abbey’s face. Some memories were worth holding onto, tight with both hands.

“Where are you taking me?” Abbey asked.

“Anywhere you'd like.”

“Let’s go back to the beach house. While the future is something to look forward to, Claudia Jean, the present is too wonderful to ignore. I only have one week and I need to make the most of it.”

“Do you really think that’s all we have?”

“It is for right now…I will focus on that.” Abbey held CJ’s hand to her lips, kissing her wrist. “Its always going to be complicated, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“Damn, you could’ve lied to me.”

“No way. There is enough insanity; there will be no lies between us.”

Abbey wanted to ask if she loved her. If here would be no lies then this was the perfect time. Of course, the truth might not make her feel better. In a week, they would return to real life, husbands, children, obligations…monotony. CJ, though, truly seemed happy with Danny and their children. Abbey was happy with Jed too. It was difficult to reconcile loving Jed as much as she did but loving CJ more. There would only be memories of this time, and hopes for the next.

“Have I ever told you that you're one of my favorite people in the world most of the time?” CJ asked.

Abbey shook her head, opening the door to the rented condo.

“Its alright, it’s a better show than tell anyway.”

That desire, the fire in Abbey’s belly, was never going away. No matter what they went through, the sometimes unbearable pain, she would never stop wanting her.

“I love you Abigail…I always will.” CJ whispered, pulling Abbey down on the bed and into their first kiss in almost eight years.

***


End file.
